jester_schetz's Xanga

Motivation.

Sun, 27 Sep 2009 23:06:16 GMT

Alex: Give me a hug. And tell me something inspirational.

Natasha: I believe in you. You can do this. Don't poop your pants.

If it disturbs you, it's art.

Mon, 31 Aug 2009 21:06:50 GMT

I had an idea for a performance art piece:

Just me. Staring lifeless into a camera. Chewing gum.

For three years.

What would be your performance art piece?

I was awake in the loneliest place.

Tue, 25 Aug 2009 04:33:25 GMT

I saw you look back. Move forward. Look back. Move forward.
Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
And if all was anything, it be the two motion cinema that loops my mind.
In black and white, like many classics.
In shock and sadness, like many tragedies.
There you were. In between.
All but missing a red dress, a cigarette, and a movie screen.
Expired light. Eight minutes ago.
She shimmers down in waves to remind me so.
And my chest began to heave and pull.
So my cage could not keep in tune.
I tug at the madness. The motionless mistress.
And she says to me, "Before you know it."
As abrupt as departures go, I would say that I agree with her.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Tue, 27 Mar 2007 00:20:48 GMT

It comes back to me as recollections
of battering light from the rearview mirror.
They travel in something that reminds
me of the way you write when you agree.
They told me I could describe it best with untouching rhetoric,
but my doubt measures something like my breath.
I thought of this until I heard them call my name.
When I have mistaken it for something great, they were
only shouting numbers at the glowing screen.
I stood there, blind.
Untouched,
and unmistaken for something lesser in light.

Monday, February 26, 2007

Mon, 26 Feb 2007 02:15:39 GMT

sometimes i forget to breathe.
but we can't aspire to respire anymore.
when desperation took a seat next to me
she found cracks in my wall.

everything so vulnerable.
now debris.
we're a reflection of weakness.
they are our weakness.
so feeble my body at a hint of their glance.

she showed me something.
a box.
and in it were immortalized moments
featuring a stranger in her mirror.
she said she was once like me.
before desperation took a seat next to her.

Sunday, January 28, 2007

Sun, 28 Jan 2007 23:33:38 GMT

a fair judgement for absent friends. read best from an opeth album.
we could argue. or we could pretend everything's alright. but who's got time to do either?
we're run my digital numbers, ticking hands, and a pyrmid of sand. but we're always off schedule.

when did we become so lifeless? when did we decide to change so much?
or have we always been like this, waiting for our true colors to finally surface.
a blend of self absorbancy with stubborness on a pallet, slowly tinting the once shades of happiness.

or maybe we've never been happy. i think we've been staring at a pattern on canvas for quite some time now.
too afraid to admit that change is inevitable. that life is not a still portrait.

Sunday, December 31, 2006

Sun, 31 Dec 2006 23:19:49 GMT

Painful Realizations of 2006

If I were to run 10 ft, I'd pass out and die.
Lord Beddington is my only refuge from my so called life.
I am a bitch. Supreme leader of the bitches. Dark lord of the bitch underworld.
The Krusty Krew equals the entire gay population of Rick Hansen.
Killing people/ buring things down is not the answer too all my problems.
Che Poofv Che Poofv is not the answer to all my problems.
I could never opinion/freestyle battle with Aditi and win. Ever.
Natasha can never teach me how to dance without saying "We'll work on that."
Heels higher than 4 inches make me walk like a pregnant teacher.
Watching pregnant teachers shimmy their way down the hall is the only reason I wake up in the morning.
Youtube is my TV.
TV is my paperweight.
I don't have any paper to test out my new paper weight.
I'm willing to take up smoking so I can quit smoking as a New Year's Resolution.
According to Reema, I can never be a girl, or not lame, or not gay-lame or anything that would render me normal.
According to Reika, I can never be president of Glavoria...ever again.
According to Maxx, I'll never be as smart as every prostitute in the world.
I name everything in my possession starting with "Lord" and ending with "-ington".

Saturday, October 28, 2006

Sat, 28 Oct 2006 21:22:57 GMT

i've been grossly misinformed. thanks.

EDIT://

THE HOUSES!!
Malex - the all knowing robot God!! = [Robot House]
Reika - the teethed leaf collector = [Rateau House]
Sabid - the not too distant pair of a worker = [Parasite House]
Allions - indenting the fingers within our skin = [Poke House]
Chee - not known for bubbles = [Chai House]
Aditi - rockin' e'rywhere is never enough = [Booty House]
Leddy - unable to think = [Pb House]
Esbah - through the confines of the libariums = [BookWorm House]
Karan - [Mexi House]
Sadafa - [Scaro House]

11missing karan and and others because i am unable to think

Friday, October 13, 2006

Fri, 13 Oct 2006 00:08:26 GMT

Esbah inspires...

One)
you're not around much anymore, but omgosh i miss you. i feel like you're the only one who hasn't "changed", and you're the only one who doesn't care about "drama".you're one of the few people i can still have fun with, and that means so much to me right now.

Two)
i can either have the best or the worst fucking time with you. please don't. im starting not to care anymore.

Three)
I love you. You're the greatest. but you already know that because you tell me everyday. we're sick of constant situations, but omgosh, you're so bleedin' persuasive that i even believe things that i don;t wanna believe. you could totally convince me to kill my family in 5 mins. you told me you think i have a mental disease and that i should see a psyciatrist, which i think means, "i love you".

Four)
i use to feel like you were my destrucion, and i could never tell you. i felt so small. but i fucking love you, and you never have to ask, it's a given. you're like my best friend, i hope you never doubt that i would be there for you.

Five)
I wish i saw you more. you brighten up my day. i sometimes think about our trips to the mall, and that time where you me and others wrote to santa. i wish you could go out more so we can chill.

Six)
it's been intresting. not good, but not bad either. i swear i didn't know how i felt, because really it was just human nature taking over. and you're so deserving, and i'm such a wierdo. some are watching the glasses on the table top and i'd be lying if i said i wasn't too. im just watching.

Seven)
i swear i never hated you as much as everyone said i did. i swear it wasn't entirely my feelings. i'm sorry i don't spend much time with you anymore. sometimes the things you say are like "what the fuck", but others, your concern makes me smile, and everyday i should act like im never gonna see you again.

Eight)
you're a good person. i wanna tell you that no matter how everyones a bitch or a prick or whatever, you tell me and we'll fucking kill them.

Nine)
if you wanna ask why, the asnwer is i don't know. i'll never know. and now i just don't care. i don't mean that to sound harsh, it's just the changing of times.

Ten)
i have nothing against you. nor will i ever.

Eleven)
i kinda uber hate how you guys talk about people. makes me kinda sad. but recently i've been no better. i guess its better in small doses than one giant explosion.

Twelve)
you're fun. you have really strong opinions, and i feel like i come off having them too, but i really don't...about most things anyway.

Thirteen)
i wanna tell you come off a little strong. even if not, i wouldn't be intrested and i kinda wish you knew that off the bat. but much like others, theres some people i wish knew and theres alot i wish didn't.

Fourteen)
you fucking disgust me. if anyones changed the most, it's you. most people think you're a fucking saint, but you're the worst person i've ever met. people don't know it, and i wish they saw your true colours. you don't deserve what you have, and everyone might as well tread all over you, as they do and they should. you always try to convince yourself "nothings a problem", that theres no situation. i kno you kno there is, but why the fuck won't you ever acknowledge it? you're weak, and you try to be so strong. but you can't. and you never will be.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Wed, 11 Oct 2006 00:33:22 GMT

and Melissa, because her milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. thas coo'. with her pink straw galavanting about! and her yellow gloves! don't get me started about those gloves! yes, she sits back in her easy chair and whats the old hockey game. why? we don't know. we really don't know.