Painful Realizations of 2006

1. If I were to run 10 ft, I'd pass out and die.
2. Lord Beddington is my only refuge from my so called life.
3. I am a bitch. Supreme leader of the bitches. Dark lord of the bitch underworld.
4. The Krusty Krew equals the entire gay population of Rick Hansen.
5. Killing people/ buring things down is not the answer too all my problems.
6. Che Poofv Che Poofv is not the answer to all my problems.
7. I could never opinion/freestyle battle with Aditi and win. Ever.
8. Natasha can never teach me how to dance without saying "We'll work on that."
9. Heels higher than 4 inches make me walk like a pregnant teacher.
10. Watching pregnant teachers shimmy their way down the hall is the only reason I wake up in the morning.
11. Youtube is my TV.
12. TV is my paperweight.
13. I don't have any paper to test out my new paper weight.
14. I'm willing to take up smoking so I can quit smoking as a New Year's Resolution.
15. According to Reema, I can never be a girl, or not lame, or not gay-lame or anything that would render me normal.
16. According to Reika, I can never be president of Glavoria...ever again.
17. According to Maxx, I'll never be as smart as every prostitute in the world.
18. I name everything in my possession starting with "Lord" and ending with "-ington".